marycatelli (marycatelli) wrote,
marycatelli
marycatelli

in the details

Scene needs some serious rework.

But while, serious, not fundamentally complicated.

Before they do something, the heroine and hero discuss what to do if interrupted. Some of the plan that the heroine suggests needs to get removed from that talk, and moved to the end, when their actions thus far have proven fruitless.

It makes their desperate effort somewhat more plausible, to make them more desperate.

BUT -- that means pulling the dialog entirely apart. Especially since she led with the suggestion that's going to the second part.

sigh
Tags: dialog, dramatic tension, motives and purposes, story structure
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