For some reason, I've hit on people who interpret all matches in all books as if they were happen to modern people with modern sensibilities -- and demands.
No woman is going to be particularly pleased if her father marries her off to a monster. But she's not going to have the same reaction if she has expected, her entire life, for her marriage to be made by her parents. Displeased, perhaps, if it were normal for her to at least get a chance at a veto, and more so if the normal route was that she met a young man as some festivity and he called on her parents because they had hit it off. But marriage to a monster is merely the far edge of possibilities if she were aware that her family might use her for an important connection.
On the other hand, there is the exogamy factor to consider. Most cultures want marriage in the in-group, and it's rather more narrowly cut than is usual nowadays -- at least in most cultures that would read these books. Many writers leave that out. Of course, on the other hand, modern-sensibilities-for-all-time readers don't complain.