marycatelli (marycatelli) wrote,

metaphors and technology

Sometimes the oddest things turn up in revision.

Like realizing that a metaphor about a volley implies gunpowder and guns.  Yes, you can have a volley of arrows.  But the metaphor mentioned the loudness.  Also, being technically correct that a metaphor would have made sense to the point-of-view character and a nickel will buy you a cup of coffee.  Even if a reader will realize after a moment's thought that it's correct, technically, you don't want the reader to take that moment.

Of course, sometimes that requires either figuring out how to excise the metaphor and say it literally -- or figure out a metaphor that the point-of-view character would obviously, or better yet, one that will illuminate the character or the world or both. Sometimes it's trickier than others. When a character is doing something mechanically, you have to search around.  I've resorted to donkeys dully circling about a mill for that one, but that would not work for every world.
Tags: metaphor, point of view, world-building: technology

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